Israel, Subway and the Morgue (based on the true story of David and Goliath) Part III

Part III
Though the Israelites were God's chosen people, there seemed to be no competition in the battle. The Phillys stepped forward and made an offer, "If ya'll win this here battle, den we be you guyses servants, but if ya'll loose, den ya mine as well be strappin' on dose aprons cause you be ars." the Israelites agreed. The Phillys sent out their biggest man. Now this guy wasn't just another chump from the hood, he was a big boy like trampas, and a little smaller than Paul Bunyan too, but none the less all who was his opponent trembled with fear. Each day for 40 days he made an offer for anyone out of Saul's arm to go to battle, but each day they stood on the sidelines in fear. This humongusly large feller that they all were scared of was simply named -Goliath. It's kina like Madonna, he didn't have a last name (mentioned).

One morning David was at his dad's in Bethleham watching the sheep. Jesse told David to go to the camp. David left his sheepys with one of the guys in the band to sheep sit them. He took some roasted bread and about 10 loaves of some wonder bread with him. He set off to the battle to give his brothers some food. On the way there he bought some cheese from a cheese dealer for the commander of the unit.

When David finally made it to the camp, he saw the men lining up for battle as they sounded their war cry. He watched. They screamed, "Hexif biqlom szolkem zcefeda ak misar cberalstmek cfbdacto!" (they spoke a fluent second language of gibberish) The Phillys were taken back to by this and they laughed, as the battle lines were being drawn, with pride in Goliath. David left his stuff with the supply boy and ran out ot the battle lines to say hi to them, "Howdy guys." he saidas he was glad to see them. All of the sudden the big guy came out shouting mean things like, "Ya'lls is idiots and dummies." mean stuff like that because as predicted, when Goliath stepped out the Israelites were running away.

Now, the one who won this great battle wasn't just patted on the back for his courageousness, No!....he was rewarded far better. Whom ever defeated the great Goliath would be given wealth, wouldn't have to pay taxes, and also, the king himself would give the warrior his daughter's hand in marriage. But obviously wasn't worth it, because each day for forty days they all ran away an dhid like shameful cowards.

[to be continued...]