nooma_flame10.08.06

We have really exausted the word love haven't we? We use it to describe so many things that the significance, power and purity behind it have been lost. If we love tacos and a movie and our spouse, surely we don't mean the same thing for each, or is their a different emphasis/meaning? Why do we use love to describe our feelings for such a wide variety of things? Does “Love” lose it’s significance because of our misuse?

How might we expound our love for our spouses than just saying, “I love you?” How can let our mom/dad or someone we really care about know that we don’t love them the same way we do tacos?

There are 3 different Hebrew words for our one word ‘Love.’

Raya – found in Song of Songs 4:7 “this is a friendship, companion, somebody you hang out with love.” As teenagers you should have ‘Raya’ relationships. It is even okay to have ‘Raya’ relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend.
How long did the speaker say he and his wife were friends expressing ‘Raya’ to one another? (A. Four Years)
He and his wife were friends –nothing more –for four years before they decided to go to the next level. Why do you think teenagers try to skip the friendship phase of dating to go straight to the intimate and physical?
Should teenagers (still in school) take a relationship beyond the Raya stage? Is it just asking for trouble down the road if you try to rush thru or skip a lasting friendship?

Ahava – found in Song of Songs 8:7 “this is making a decision to join your life to the life of another. An emotion that leads to commitment.”
The speaker said after the four years, he was visiting his wife (not at the time –duh) and said that “he would rather be in that spot, at that moment wit her than any other place in the world.” This is Ahava. An emotion that leads to commitment.
The reason I (Brad) believe teenagers should not enter into ahava is because I don’t think you have the emotional maturity to make a lifetime commitment from the emotions you are feeling. I believe at your age, it is all emotion and that a sincere level of commitment can not be comprehended.
Do you agree or disagree? Explain. If you disagree, let me ask you, “In your ‘ahava’ relationship, do you care about the other person –period, or do you like how that person makes you feel?” Because, if you rely on how they make you feel, you do not have ahava –you have infatuation and no commitment level. Ahava is a love for someone just because and nothing for yourself.
I think society tells us that ahava is an emotional feeling of tingles and warm fuzzies. That is simply infatuation. Because, ahava should still exists when we get hurt by the other person or they don’t make us feel warm and fuzzy any more.

Dode – found in Song of Songs 1:2 “this is the physical, sexual element of love.”
This is the love God originally intended for a man and woman to share on the night they are joined together. This is in fact the literal, ‘the joining together of two’
Society tell us this is the final test if someone loves me or I love them. God says this is the physical element of how He intended love to be –not a marker.

Each of these flames by themselves gives off a little heat and a little light. But, they can never burn with the fury they are intended to until they are all joined together. God’s plan is for a man and woman to have such a deep and grounded friendship, He intended them to make decision to want nothing else than to be committed to that one person –not because they make me feel good, but because of an unselfish desire to give to them. Finally, God intended for love to be expressed in physical sexual intercourse.

It seems all we focus on is the physical, but you are a spiritual being. If you have dode without any commitment (ahava) you are still empty. If your parents are committed to one another but there is no dode between them, they are not completely nourished.

In the nooma video _flame, the speaker ignites a bonfire to put all others to shame. This thing is enormous. It is a mountain of downed trees, shrubs and branches. They said the fire could be seen from over 10 miles away. The illustration points out that when all three flames are burning in the same 'marital' relationship, it is noticed. People see a difference in you.