nooma_bullhorn

Have you seen these guys on the street corner of a busy downtown intersection. They have pamphlets, a box and a small PA system or a bullhorn and they are yelling judgement on those passing buy. Words such as hell, repent, burn and Jesus are stewed together in a mix of anger and rage. We all have seen the 'bullhorn guy'. We have seen them on television we have seen them in movies. We may have heard them in church.

How do you feel about the 'bullhorn guy'?

Are you like me and just want to tell him to "Stop!"? I mean, I don't think it's working. All the yelling and the judgment and condemnation, is not working. Maybe it is even making things worse. Have you ever tried to share your faith with someone only to have that person bring up 'Christians' they have known that have distorted the Gospel? It's like, "You know I am a Christian and I would like to invite you to church with me this Sunday..." And before you can finish your invitation, they shake their heads and say something like, "Nope! I will never step into a church again. Not after what so-and-so said to me...or...did to me..."

Are people like bullhorn guy hurting the general perception of Christianity?
What things other than bullhorn guy negatively taint the perception of the Christian faith?

What drew you to the message of Jesus? What was it that caught your attention or made you listen to his message rather than someone elses?

One of the reasons so many are fascinated with Jesus is because he never stops reminding us that God really, really loves us...exactly the way we are. Just knowing that God loves us unconditionally is a new concept to some of us. How many time have you said something like, "If you pick up your room then i'll give you a treat." or to a lover "I'll love you if you only (fill in the blank)." We put conditions on how we love. We love with an agenda.

Matthew 22:36-40 (CEV) "Teacher, what is the most important commandment in the Law?"
Jesus answered:
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. This is the first and most important commandment. The second most important commandment is like this one. And it is, "Love others as much as you love yourself." All the Law of Moses and the Books of the Prophets are based on these two commandments."

When Jesus is asked, 'What is the most important thing?' His response is to love, love God with all you have and then love those around you in the same kind of way. Do you notice that Jesus doesn't seperate loving god and loving others. For Jesus, everything hangs on these two. So what is the one thing that should set Christians apart from the world? What is the one defining atribute given to Christians? Love.

What's the most important thing in you life?
How does that line up with what Jesus said?

Is the most important thing in your life your job or career? Okay, then how are you showing love to you coworkers? Are you showing love to God by loving them? Or does the extent of your witness end with the Christian radio station on in your cubical?

God's plan for setting Christians apart from the world and God's plan for winning outsiders over, is not through yelling or condemnation, but through love. That is why the yelling and the bullhorn are so disturbing, it seems like you're trying to convert people to your religion. Like people are just notches on your spiritual belt. But they're not. They are people, they're people God loves. They are people that Jesus wants us to love. They aren't statistics, they aren't numbers, they aren't possible conversions. If i'm loving someone with an agenda, then it isn't really love, is it?

What does it mean to love someone with an agenda (or condition)?
Is trying to convert someone to your religious beliefs an agenda?

This is a dangerous trap minsters can fall in to. It is something i struggle with. i genuinely want people to join our church. I wan them to be a part of this fellowship, because it is a good place to be. However, if i am reaching out to that person just to get them to place their membership with us, then i am loving them with an agenda. God wants us to love them, because he loves them.

John 13:35 (TNIV) "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

"So a Christian is somebody who understands this, who understands that people with different perspectives and differetn religious beliefs and convictions, they're to be loved and respected, because they're made by God, and they're sacred and they're valuable and they matter. god loves the world, so a Christian does too." -rob bell

Does god love people with different beliefs than you?
As much as he loves you?
How do you feel about people with different beliefs than you?

The danger with the hell fire and brimstone message is that when you tell someone that they should follow Jesus so that they don't burn forever, it sounds like a threat. It goes back to the tactic of trying to scare people enough they'll make some magically decision to love God and follow Jesus.

Do you think it's possible to scare people into loving God?

If you say yes, then you are probably thinkg about someone who may have come so close to death or a life threatening illness or event they 'wake up' and give their lives over to God. This isn't what this question means. Can you scare people into 'loving' God. Almost always, "No." What you would do is scare people into being afraid of God (which isn't the same as fearing God).

Most people rally behind this kind of talk of telling the bullhorn guy to stop. You may be saying, "Yeah, you tell 'em." But what are you doing to change the perception of christianity. That's really what it is, people have a perception of Christianity based on their experiences. So, when someone spends time around you, what would their perception of a Christian be?

Are there some general negative perceptions of Christians out their? What might some of those be?
Are their negative perceptions of Christians caused by what we believe or how we're living?
Are you doing anything to change the negative perception?

Understand this, how you love others is how you love God. you say, "I love God." Really, so why did you say all those mean things about your co-worker? YOu say, "I love God." Really, so why do you tell all those jokes about people who are different than you? If you want to really love God, then you show it by how you love others. That's the way of love. That's the way of Jesus.

nooma_dust

Have you ever said something like this, "I want to be the kind of person who does the right thing. and i don't just mean the big things, where right and wrong are obvious and easy, but I mean the small things. The subtle, unnoticed things."

Why are the 'small and unnoticed' things such a big deal?
Doesn't God want us to do big things for His Kingdom? Or is this maybe a lie we've bought in to?

Many times in scripture, Jesus is refered to as "Teacher" or even "Rabbi". But what does that mean to our 21st century minds? Why is that so important? We all know Jesus had his 12 Disciples or Apostles, but every rabbi had their disciples -young men who were considered the best of the best of the best. These students would study and memorize the entire Hebrew scriptures, Genesis through Malachi. When these boys would reach the ages of 12, 13 or 14 they would go one of two directions. They would either acknowledge their inability to become a rabbi (a teacher) and pursue their family trade. Or they would go to a rabbi and ask to be one of his disciples.

Now if you pursued your family trade, then that meant you didn't make the cut to follow a rabbi. You weren't good enough -according to the rabbi you wanted to study under. Now if you did make the cut and a rabbi selected you to follow him, he is saying, 'I think this kid can be like me. I think he can do what i do.' Different rabbis had different sets of interpretations about how they lived out, and understood, and interpreted the Scriptures. This set of interpretations was called that rabbis yoke. When he selects is disciples, he is saying, "I think this kid can carry my yoke and spread my yoke to others."

A disciple doesn't just want to be know what the rabbi knows. A disciple wants to be like the rabbi and wants to elarn to do what the rabbi does.

Have you ever thought of Jesus as your rabbi?
Would you consider yourself a disciple?
Have you ever thought about your faith as being an interpretation?Is it okay to have different interpretations fo the Scriptures?

Matthew 14:25-31 "During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
"Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

We've always been taught or we've always assumed that Peter doubts Jesus. But Jesus isn't sinking. Who does Peter doubt? He doubts himself. he loses faith in himself that he can actually be like his rabbi.

How big of a role do your insecurities play in your life?
Do they ever affect your faith?

Now if the peter and some of the other disciples were fishermen and Jesus calls them to be his disciples, then they're not following another rabbi; and if they're not following another rabbi they're not the best of the best. They didn't make the cut.

What message was Jesus sending us by not choosing the best of the best?

I Corinthians 1:26-29 (TNIV) "Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him."

Jesus is sending the message to the world, that his movement is a movement of anybodies and he calls them -the JC, the B-squad, the 'not-good-enoughs.' He calls them to be his disciples and they chang ethe course of human history.

What impact are Christians today having on the course of human history?

Matthew 16:19 (NASB) "I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; and whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven."

We all know that faith in Jesus is important, but have you ever considered Jesus' faith in us? He must have faith in us, because he leaves his yoke; his commands; his plans in the hands of his disciples.

Do you believe God believes in you?

If it is true that Jesus is our rabbi and we are his disciples -followers, then it must also be true that he has faith in us to follow him and be like him.

What does it mean to be like Jesus?
Can you do it?

Understand this, continue to believe in God. But may you come to understand that God believes in you. Continue in faith in Jesus. But understand that Jesus has faith that you can be like him. A person of love and compassion and truth. A person of forgiveness, and peace, and grace, and joy, and hope. And may you be covered in the dust of your rabbie, Jesus.

nooma_luggage

Everyone I know has wounds. Some are small and petty and it's like, you just need to get over it, but for many the wounds are deep and they hurt. And they still impact and effect your life even now. "You thought you were over it but now you're more into it than ever and the wound is reopened and it hurts more than ever, and then it becomes a day or a week or 10 years later and now it's become like a part of you." (Rob Bell)

What wounds do you have? How have your wounds shaped who you are today?

"Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. 'I'll do the judging,' says God. 'I'll take care of it.'" -Romans 12:19 When we don't deal with the wounds and the hurt properly and promptly, we let the bitterness well up inside. We may want to forget, but it seems like we only remember it more and more. When we carry untreated wounds with us the bitterness evolves into revenge -it becomes our only hope.

Have you ever really goten revenge?
If so, how did it make you feel afterwards?
If we take revenge when we get hurt, do you think it's like saying to God, "I think i can handle this better than you"?

When we are hurt, bad, there is a part of us that wants to get revenge. We want that person to hurt. Just a little portion of us wants them to know what it felt like. We all have joked about how we would like to get back at the person who cut us off in traffic. We tell stories of personal retribution we've tried to take out on someon. However, on the spiritual level revenge is so much more. We are saying, "God i don't trust you to deal with this person the way i think they should be dealt with." We want them punished. We want judgment.

But what if God says that about us?

Proverbs 15:3 says, "The LORD sees everything, wheter good or bad" (CEV). This scripture tells us that God sees everything -whether good or bad. That means he saw how that person hurt you. He saw when your wounds were created. It was like God was right there.

If God's right there when people get hurt, why do you think he doesn't step in to stop it from happening?
Do you trust that God is ultimately going to take care of everything?
Have you ever said something like this, "You know what, you don't understand. What they did to me is so horrible, I will never forgive them, i can't forgive them for what they did."
But what if God said that -"I can't forgive them."?
Why is God's forgiveness of us so crucial to our forgiveness of others?

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." -Luke 6:37

Too many times Christians believe in order for them to forgive someone they have to forget. The only person that is capable of forgetting is God. You know as much as we may want to forget, sometimes forgiving is remembering and some people are going to keep returning to their vomit, and we don't have to be there when they do.

Proverbs 26:11 says, "as a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool returns to its folly." Sometimes the person that has hurt you, will hurt you again. They are toxic. They are malicious and dangerous. They are bent on hurting others. If he is hitting you, if you are being abused, you need to get out -now. If you are in a dangerous situation, you need to get out. Your leaving the situation may be the attention grabber God will use to get them to change. To understand the consequences to their actions.

Many times people say that forgiveness is about freeing the other person. You know freeing the one who hurt you. But really is forgiveness actually about you? Is it about me? Its about us isn't it? Because, when i forgive somebody and i set them free, it's like im setting myself free.

Do you believe forgivenss is really more about the one forgiving than the one being forgiven?
Does that view on forgiveness make it easier to forgive?

Another misunderstanding about forgiveness is that it is not a feeling. You don't forgive and forgive and forgive until you get a warm fuzzy. Forgiving is an action, it's somthing you do. Chances are we all have someone we need to forgive. Reconsidering the passage from Luke that says our sins will be forgiven when we forgive others is even more demanding.

Are there people you need to forgive?
If someone you need to forgive died before you made amends, what kinds of regrets would you have?

Now, you may need to make a phone call, send an email or have a face to face with someone, but what it may also be is at this moment, you pause your mp3 player, close the door and forgive somebody. What does that look like? Maybe something like this, "God, i don't want to be a slave to my wounds anymore. I don't want to live with the bitterness or vengence for one more minute. God i forgive ________________. I know what they did hurt me, and they may even hurt me again, but i forgive them for what they did to me. God give me the strength to wish them well. Bless them Lord. If they are living in rebellion to you, bring them close to your side. If they are hurting themselves, bring healing and comfort to them. Thank you Father for forgiving me of how i have hurt you. In Jesus Name, Amen."

There is nothing right or special about the above prayer, but maybe it can help you start the process of forgiveness. And may you forgive as you've been forgiven, may you give to others what's been given to you, may you set someone free and find out that it was you, and may you do it TODAY, because you might not have the chance tomorrow.

nooma_kickball

One of the problems with mankind is that our perspective is limited. The phrase, "He lives his life like a chess match." may show some foresight, but in reality it is simply a guess. What that does to us is handicaps us from seeing the bigger picture. Is there a bigger picture to this life? I think we can all say that there is infact a bigger picture. More to this life than what we experience at this moment in history.

In the video, Rob Bell's 2 1/2 year old is standing at a kiosk in the mall. He looks up and sees a wall of fun. Bell looks up and sees a wall of tomorrow's garbage. His boy wanted a particular toy that was not age appropriate. But as the debate continued his son laments, "I want one...I need one...I thought you said you loved me?"

We always want something, don't we? Something that would make us happy, right? What is it for You? Ebay's latest marketing tells consumers, "Whatever 'IT' is you want Ebay has IT". Clever. We all want something. Whether it's a physical something or emotional something or spritual something. We always want something.

Why do we as parents try to use reason and logic on someone who hasn't even developed the ability to reason yet? Have you ever tried to reason with a 2 year old? Of course. We know why they need to eat their veggies. We know why they need to go to bed. But they don't. Esther loves to play outside. She loves to swing and play in the fallen leaves. So when i ask her, "Do you want to play outside?" She gets all excited and ready to go. Whe i try to sit her down and put shoes, socks and her coat on, she throws a fit. All she's thinking is, "I thought we were going outside? This isn't outside. This is a trick." At that moment Esther believes she isn't getting that which had been promised to her.

Do you feel like you often don't get the things you really want? Do you feel like God's denying you these things or maybe like he's not even listening to you? James 1:17 says, "Every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father who created all the lights in the heavens. He is always the same and never makes dark shadows by changing."

Have you ever had to remove your child from a situation they really want to be in, but because of their behavior or maybe even because of other circumstances -maybe even dangerous circumstances - you've had to take them from fun time? Have you ever been mad at God for not giving you what you'd asked for? Is it okay to question God?

In the video, Bell explains the reason his wife, son and he were at the mall. They were there to get their son a kickball. Something he really wanted. But he was caught up in something that looked like a must have. Have you ever felt like God did come through for you? If so, how? Looking back, how did God come through for you?

We can create a safe little bubble of a aworld around our children. Where they always get everying they want right when they ask for it, when they were protected from everything, but it wouldn't be much of of a life, would it? Christians sometimes do the same thing. We create a safe little bubble around our minds and the people we hang out with. We have our music, our movies and our like-minded friends. But how much of a life is it -really?

If you got everything you asked for in life, do you think you'd be happy?

Jeremiah 29:11-14 states, "I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. "When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed."

You know, we may have a very sincere reason for wanting something. Maybe we want just enough money to get out of debt and get the collection agencies off our backs. Maybe we want a certain temptation removed so we don't disappoint our family again with our sin. Maybe we want a disease removed or chronic pain to cease. There are very real desires we want, and maybe your question is, "How long, how long do i have to wait for this? When is God going to deliver?" and maybe God's perspective is, "How long till you see that there's a bigger perspective here?"

Do you see your life as part of a bigger picture, a larger story? Sometimes you ahve this sense of, "God, if you just give me this, then i'd be okay. Then my life would be okay." Have you ever felt unsure about an important decision in your life and trusted God to lead you in the right direction? How did that turn out?

A question you may need to ask yourself is "Do I believe God is good? Deep in my bones, do i believe God is Good? What do you really believe God is like? Because until we each deal with this question, then nothing's ever going to make any sense, is it?

Do you believe God is good?
Always?

Luke 11:11-13 "Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

Now, when you find yourself standing at the kiosk, asking "Why can't i have what I want?" may you beleive that God is good, and that right across the street he has something better.

nooma_noise10.29.06

Bernie Krause records nature sounds. In 1968 it would take him about 15 hours just to get one hour of undisturbed nature sounds. Today he says it takes him 2000 hours to get that same one hour of undistrubed nature sounds. What does that say about the world we live in? What kind of noise do you have in your life right now? Is it the radio? Cell phone? TV, Friends, Internet? Even now as I put this lesson together, i have an online radio station playing. In-fact, i tried to open another radio station to just get a different sound and it was unable to connect. I began to get so frustrated because it was too quiet. Why are we so uncomfortable with silence? Why is silence so hard to deal with?
The Environmental Protection Agency states that over 183 million people are regularly exposed to noise levels labeled as excessive. Do you ever surround yourself with noise? Why do you think we like to do that? I believe noise keeps us from being afraid. Maybe you're like me; when i lay down to go to sleep, i need some kind of noise. It can be a squeeky ceiling fan, the air-conditioning unit or the rain or wind outside. When it is completely silent, i can hear all of the creaks and bumps in the night. Now, i'm not afraid of the boogie man, but there is something comforting about not "hearing" the bumps.
The same is true in our lives. If the noise is loud and constant enough, then we don't have to acknowledge the bumps in our life. And yet the bumps are still there. I jokingly tell people I can get rid of that noise under the hood of the car; then i turn up the radio, "See, it went away." Now did it go away? Duh. It is still there, but if i don't hear it then i don't need to do anything to fix it or change it.
Do you ever wish God's voice was louder in your life?
Does all the noise in your life make it hard to hear God?
Jesus told the crowd, ""Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Maybe the reason we never expereince 'rest' is because we don't take time out to be silent and still. Have you ever read the fine print of the money back garauntee on diet pills. They tell you that this supplement works with proper diet and exercise. You know if I ate a healthy diet, and worked out regularly, i wouldn't need the diet pill.
Jesus is saying the reason you wont let me give you rest is because you aren't taking the time to be silent and still. Those two things in themselves will bring about some rest. The question resurfaces, "Is all the noise in your life making it hard to hear God?
“Have you spent the same amount of time worrying and talking about your difficult, confusing situations as you have spent in silence, listening to what God might have to say?” -(Rob Bell)
Do you sometimes avoid silence because you’re afraid of what God might actually have to say to you? Because, we know if God actually speaks to us there is a good probability that we will have to give up something we enjoy, or change a habit we've grown to depend on.
Luke 5:16 “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” These were regular disciplines Jesus had. Silence. Solitude. Why do we think we are better equipped to navigate the rough waters of life? When Jesus was facing frustrating moments in his ministry, he didn't tune into Christian Praise and Worship Songs. He didn't schedule an appointment with the pastor or Christian counselor, he withdrew to a solitary spot and spent time in silence. When we face constant opposition from our boss, co-workers or friends, we may need to withdraw to our car during lunch break and instead of playing your favorite Christian CD, leave the motor off and spend a moment in you solitary place in silence before God.

Okay, insert application here. -You knew this was coming - What are some of the areas in your life you could change or ajust to eliminate some of the noise? Seriously, just say you need to watch less tv (although you probably do), --What will you do when the tv is turned off between 9-10? Don't pick up the latest Max Lucado book. Don't play your favorite christian cd, spend that hour in silent, solitude listening for God.

One last thought. As Christians we sometimes look for God in the big and the glamerous. We wait for the big youth confrence to reignite that blaze we had after the last big youth conference. We try to look for God to show up in the big events in our life. In essesence we are looking and waiting for God to speak to us through the earthquake or fire or mighty wind. When all the while God is simply waiting for us in the gentle whisper. When we figure this out, we may find ourselves less anxious about what others may think of us and more about that most precious moment when you spend deaf to the world and to the noise. Psalm 4:4 says, "...when you are on your beds search your hearts and be silent."

nooma_sunday10.22.06

Before i get into nooma_sunday, i need to let you know of scriptures corrections that need to be made. We read from Matthew 22:1-7 and Matthew 22:13. Now somehow i made it fit (kind-of), but those were the wrong verses. The RIGHT scripture is actually Matthew 23:1-7 and Matthew 23:13 (complete verses typed out below). I apologize for this and encourage you to remember the overall theme of nooma_sunday with the right verses in mind.

If you were like me, then you went to church because your parents brought you. After all, all good people go to church. But why? Why do we go to a building one morning a week? What is the relevancy of this ritual? Time and time again scriptures remind us that God is not concerned with an empty ritual -even one done in his name. God is concerned about the heart. He wants us to want to serve him. He doesn't want us to serve him in a zombie like state of unconsciecness, but rather in one of eagerness using all of our senses, Mark 12:30 says, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'"
God wants us to want to serve him. He wants us to know why we are serving/worshiping him, not just going through the motions with no knowledge as to why we do what we do. Have you ever attended a church service out of a sense of duty? Or because you think you're supposed to? The next time you are in a church service, look around and ask, "Is this what God had in mind?" Is this the type of atmosphere and mood God wanted present in the presence of a gathering of believers? When believers gather together for worship and fellowship, what was God's reason for having his followers 'not give up meeting together.'?
Honestly, i think there are many gatherings accross the world that experience and create the type of vibe God had in mind.
Matthew 23:1-7 "Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples: "The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat. So you must obey them and do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy loads and put them on men's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.
"Everything they do is done for men to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted in the marketplaces and to have men call them 'Rabbi.'"
Jesus is not giving these guys a compliment. He is essentially telling the religious rulers of his day, "All you care about is looking good in front of others. You don't care about the burdens of the oppressed, in-fact, you laden them more by heaping weights on them you yourselves are not willing to bear."
How much time do you spend worrying about what other people think about you? Look how Jesus continues his verbal descent on the Pharisees, Matthew 23:13 "I've had it with you! You're hopeless, you religion scholars, you Pharisees! Frauds! Your lives are roadblocks to God's kingdom. You refuse to enter, and won't let anyseeone else in either." (Message) Jesus is saying, you are actually keeping people from entering heaven. "You are roadblocks." I wonder if we ever become roadblocks to people seeking God? You know sometimes people confuse God with religion and end of walking away from both. Whenever we put rituals, appearance or religious duty before passionately approaching the throe of God, we become a roadblock.
God wants us to be a gathering of believers that bring our minds with us to service. He wants us to bring our hearts with us when we see hurting brothers and sisters. He wants us to use our strengths for his purpose and glory. When we do this in a corporate gathering of believers in Jesus, we remove ritual and replace it with relationships.
Do you give money to the church? Why? Do you take communion everytime it is passed infront of you? Why? Do you stand and sit when the worship leader tells you? Why? People coming into our buildings for the first time see us doing things that may appear ritualistic, and in a sense we are. However, the reason, the motive for our actions is out of a desire to obey God. Because we love God, we obey him.
Isaiah 29:13 says, " The Lord says: "These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men." God wants our hearts. How do we know if God has our hearts and that we're not just going through the motions?
We know God has our hearts when we care about the people and things God cares about. "God can't stand it when we put on a religious show and then we ignore the poor and the broken and the marganlized and the oppressed." (-Rob Bell)
Church is not a building. It is not an hour long service once a week. Church is people. People whose hearts are beating more and more like God's. What does it mean if our hearts are beating more like God's? How would this change the view of Christians if our hearts were all beating more and more like his?

Israel, Subway and the Morgue (based on the true story of David and Goliath) Part III

Part III
Though the Israelites were God's chosen people, there seemed to be no competition in the battle. The Phillys stepped forward and made an offer, "If ya'll win this here battle, den we be you guyses servants, but if ya'll loose, den ya mine as well be strappin' on dose aprons cause you be ars." the Israelites agreed. The Phillys sent out their biggest man. Now this guy wasn't just another chump from the hood, he was a big boy like trampas, and a little smaller than Paul Bunyan too, but none the less all who was his opponent trembled with fear. Each day for 40 days he made an offer for anyone out of Saul's arm to go to battle, but each day they stood on the sidelines in fear. This humongusly large feller that they all were scared of was simply named -Goliath. It's kina like Madonna, he didn't have a last name (mentioned).

One morning David was at his dad's in Bethleham watching the sheep. Jesse told David to go to the camp. David left his sheepys with one of the guys in the band to sheep sit them. He took some roasted bread and about 10 loaves of some wonder bread with him. He set off to the battle to give his brothers some food. On the way there he bought some cheese from a cheese dealer for the commander of the unit.

When David finally made it to the camp, he saw the men lining up for battle as they sounded their war cry. He watched. They screamed, "Hexif biqlom szolkem zcefeda ak misar cberalstmek cfbdacto!" (they spoke a fluent second language of gibberish) The Phillys were taken back to by this and they laughed, as the battle lines were being drawn, with pride in Goliath. David left his stuff with the supply boy and ran out ot the battle lines to say hi to them, "Howdy guys." he saidas he was glad to see them. All of the sudden the big guy came out shouting mean things like, "Ya'lls is idiots and dummies." mean stuff like that because as predicted, when Goliath stepped out the Israelites were running away.

Now, the one who won this great battle wasn't just patted on the back for his courageousness, No!....he was rewarded far better. Whom ever defeated the great Goliath would be given wealth, wouldn't have to pay taxes, and also, the king himself would give the warrior his daughter's hand in marriage. But obviously wasn't worth it, because each day for forty days they all ran away an dhid like shameful cowards.

[to be continued...]

Israel, Subway and the Morgue (based on the true story of David and Goliath) Part II

Part II
One day at band practice his dad rushed in hoopin' and hollerin' about going somewhere or something. Once he slowed down enought to get his words out, David learned that he'd have to leave to go meet this guy named Saul. DAvid was glad to leave, though he would miss his family and band groupies, but there wasn't much action while watching the sheep. So David hopped on a donkey that was loaded with Jones Soda and some Krispy Kremes, and a little goat and headed off to meet his man by the name of Saul.

David grew to like him. For a while Dvid was the guy that took car of Saul's armor. Saul like David becauseof his specialty in playing the harp. Sometimes and evil spirit would come over Saul. It was like Olivia on a bad hair day, only in spirit form. A great anxiety came over Saul. But when ever this happened, David just played his harp and the evil spirit went away. And when it did Saul would feel relieved.

Soon, Jesse got a letter in the mail. It took awhile for it to get to him, because the first mail man got attacked by a pack of wild zebr. But when Jesse got the letter, this is what it said,

Dear Jesse,
Your son David is great. Please let him stay with me. He's really narly. I like having him around.

Sincerly,
King Saul

Though he missed his son, Jesse agreetd to letting him stay.

Soon the Israelites had gone to war witht the Phillys. They were called that because they worshiped Subways, Philly Steak and Cheese Sandwhich. David's three brothers were there at war, as David was at home in Bethleham (they liked ham not beth) tending to his father's sheep. The war seemed to drag on day by day as David went back and forth from time to time between Saul and his father. You know how it's like, if your parents are divorced.

[to be continued...]

Israel, Subway and the Morgue (based on the true story of David and Goliath) Part I

[Part I]
It was dusk and the sun was now where to be found as the sky was shaded above the morgue. All was dead inside. David quickly ran inside to find the tiny sheep that had scurried away into the darkness. The sting of death surrounded him from the sacrifices of past sins and dead spirits. He squinted aroudn for any sign of Puffy's white exterior that might've stuck out in the darkness. Puffy always ran off. And David was always rescuing him. Just has he spoted a glimpse of Puffy, he heard his father call for hi. "What could he want now?" thought David, as he hurridley scooped up Puffy with his left arm ad shuffled offf with his staff in the other hand, going back in the house.

When David entered, he noticed his father, Jesse, standing there with this three brothers that he lived with, Eli, Bin and Sham. Also, to his surprise, they had a visitor. David noticed that they were sacrificing a cow. Jesse (no, he didn't have good hair like the one on 'Full House' -he was pretty old). introduced David to this phrophet named Samuel. They exhcanged names and greetings and soon after, Samuel annointed him in the presence of his older brothers and they were felouse of him. The Spirit of the Lord came upon David. It didn't make him hop over pews or beat his chest like a wild animal for God, but he did dance around in his underwear sometimes. They said thier goodbyes and later Sam left for Ramah. Davidtook the sacrifices out to the morgue. David thought of how he could put his feelings into music.

He was glad that the Spirit of the Lord was pon him. He played the harp for God. He made up a new songfor his band. His band was called the 'All-Jewish Rejects'. It had a couple other shepard boys in it from the neighborhood. They usually plaed at the New Moon Festivals. David was the star of it that all the girls cooed about, kinda like Justin Timberlake or Michael from the Jackson 5, onl he didn's sound like a girl when he sang, more like 'Ravin Dave'. David was muy el quapo, i imagine more so thatn a hoodlum like Jimmy because the Biblical author points out that he was of fine appearance and handsome features, so he must've looked...for lack of better wording...HOT!

[to be continued]